Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
