rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
