I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
