I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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