I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
