and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
