Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
