Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
