This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize