She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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