Whod you bang
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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