They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
