If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
