im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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