omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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