my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
