I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
