Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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