Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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