Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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