Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
