i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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