3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
