She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
