Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
