i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I understand Curling. That high.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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