I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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