I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
