i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Randomize
