Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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