i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
