I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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