If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize