I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
