doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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