we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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