So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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