I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
