I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
