it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
