I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
