NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
