You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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