you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize