Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
