Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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