It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
