We're facebook friends in real life
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
