i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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