Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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