Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize