And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
