I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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