she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
