covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
