Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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