if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My dick has a subreddit
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
