She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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