Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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