the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
