i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm too high and old for this...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Couch. On fire.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize