I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
