You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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