I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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