***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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